Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. --Bruce Graham

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. --Unknown

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. --Anonymous

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. --Jeff Valdez

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. --English proverb

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. --Ellen Perry Berkeley

One cat just leads to another. --Ernest Hemingway

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. --Mary Bly

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. --Joseph Wood Krutch

People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life. --Faith Resnick

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. --Anonymous

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. --Hippolyte Taine

No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. --Unknown

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. --Albert Schweitzer

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. --Ernest Menaul

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

Time spent with cats is never wasted. --Colette

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. --Missy Dizick

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. --Colonial American proverb

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. --Joseph Wood Krutch

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.