Quotes...

I was in band. All it destroyed was my self-esteem. -- Travis West

There are no stupid questions. But there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. -- Thiena Dao

Being a genius is just knowing what you're not very good at, and avoiding that subject -- A.Einstein, 1943

The enemy of better is "perfect". -- Unknown

If you are not very clever you should be conciliatory.-- Benjamin Disraeli

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

A crisis is when you can't say, "Let's just forget the whole thing." -- Ferguson

"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."

[Nuclear war]... may not be desirable. -- Edwin Meese III

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. -- Henry Kissinger

The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi. -- BooBoo

"People of integrity do what they say they will ... others make excuses." - Author Unknown

Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant. -- Swayze

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- Wernher von Braun

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." -- Lily Tomlin

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do. -- last words of Oscar Wilde

The idea is to die young as late as possible. -- Ashley Montague

Success is a journey, not a destination. -- The Unix Fortune Program...

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa

If I had any humility I would be perfect. -- Ted Turner --

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. -- R. Geis

Naeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.

Do Not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for you are crunchy and go well with catsup

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computenmachine ist nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben! ist easy snappen der springenwerk, blowen fusen und poppencorken mit pitzensparken! ist nicht fur gewerken by das dumbfolken! das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das hants in das pockets, relaxen und vatch das blinkenlights!

Update of the above... ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das Internet is nicht fuer gefingerclicken und giffengrabben. Ist easy droppenpacket der routers und overloaden der backbone mit der spammen unt der me-tooen. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das musclicken sichtseeren keepen das bandwit-spewin hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das cursorblinken.

Making files is easy under the UNIX operating system. Therefore, users tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space. It has been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is the message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files. -- System V.2 administrator's guide & the Fortune Program...

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. -- Norm Schryer

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Al Einstein

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. -- Jules de Gaultier

Sometimes you're the widshield. Sometimes you're the bug. -- Seen on a button

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. -- Alan Ashley-Pitt

Which way did they go? How many were there? How fast were they going? I must find them, I am their leader! -- Seen on the office wall of the Principal of Country Lane School

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London: Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

You say the little efforts that I make Will do no good. They will never prevail to top the hovering scale Where justice hangs in the balance. I don't think I ever really thought they would. But I am prejudiced beyond debate In favor of my right to choose which side Shall feel the stubborn ounces of my weight. - Bonano Overstreet